Poem: I am Pisces 3/18/12

I am fishy.

I am watery.

I am emotional, tempermental, active.

Constatnly swimming, never quite where I want to be.

I am two parts of one person.

I am like two fish connected by a fishing line.

I am scales, fins, and gills.

I am insecurity, inconsistancy, and fear.

I am everything I hate and dispise.

Shallow, secretive, yet very honest.

Beautiful and fragile, just like a dream.

I can be here and gone without warrant or warning.

I am not resilliant, but I somehow never quit.

I am water, I will only change to adapt.

I will go under, over, through you, just to make it to my destination.

I will make it somehow,

me and me.

The other me, the other fish on the line.

I may or may not be the one you recognize,

but I am still me.

Shifty, uncertain, understanding.

Constant, sure, misunderstood.

Poem: I don’t feel like it. 3/18/12

When I try to decide on something to do, it feels like a roulette table or at the very least, a slot machine.

Draw

Write

Read

Music

Sleep

Sometimes I can feel like I’m sitting there just watching my options spin until I finally decide what to do.

Sometimes I don’t want to do anything.

Sometimes my mind just blanks out because I’ve stayed idle for too long.

So much for that.

My laptop fell asleep while I was trying to make up my fickle mind.

I stop on 3 different options. Not good. Spin again.

Three blanks. Spin again.

Sometimes I get lucky and write a poem before I run out of quarters.

How do you get back in touch with God after a serious Dry Period?

It was sometime around last night when I realized I was so far from God I didn’t even care. My mother brought it to my attention that I was becoming selfish and self-centered and never thought about others. I also became aware that I had not opened my Bible or even bothered talking to God about anything. I guess I assumed I was okay as long as nothing bad was happening. 

This obviously was not the case.

I noticed that even though I had everything going pretty well for me, I was still deeply dissatisfied and was getting ticked off at everything. I’ve also been unmotivated for life and couldn’t bring myself to do anything. And worse is that I’ll be going to Basic Training in a little more than a week and I’m still on this massive spiritual/emotional/physical low. Has anyone else gone through these periods? What did you do to get yourself going?